As I conclude this week focusing some attention on Dr. Venom, I thought it only appropriate to do up a post about Dr. Venom’s short, but illustrious career with the Cobra organization. I know Gary “cmderinchief” already posted his views, but I’ve got my own unique take! Below are what I consider Dr. Venom’s “Top Ten” moments in his short, but storied history. Click the “Read the rest of this Entry” link below to check out the full blown rundown!
10 – As Snake Eyes clings for dear life to a plan flying miles above the raging forest, Dr. Venom strikes hard and fast! By stomping on his fingers. Yes, that’s right. Venom stomps on Snake Eyes’ fingers. You don’t do that and live.
Well, I guess Venom didn’t live, but that’s beside the point.
Of course, that just happens on the comics cover. Inside the comic, Venom doesn’t stomp on Snake Eyes’ fingers…he waits until Kwinn tries to rescue him, then pounds on his head with a damned wrench. What a douche.
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9 – Continuing his reign of terror on poor ole Snake Eyes, Dr. Venom confronts him in the stinking jungle and beats the heck out of him with the butt of his pistol before leaving him to die in a burning building. Of course, Snake Eyes survives, but his face is seared by raging flames, burning the flesh from his bones…and that only happened like a dozen times to him in G.I. Joe history.
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8 – As Destro stands melancholy over the apparent death of The Baroness, Venom totally disses him. Then he jumps in the HISS cockpit and drives away as Hawk, Cobra Commander, and Destro whale on each other, which results in Hawk getting three bullets in the back.
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7 – As Cobra launches an attack on G.I. Joe Headquarters, Kwinn and Snake Eyes corner Dr. Venom. He gives in to them and offers up a pair of SNAKE Armor for them to use in the coming battle… only problem is, the SNAKE Armor has a miniature brainwashing device in it, and Venom tricks the two men into facing themselves in combat.
Wouldn’t you think they’d have learned not to trust him by now?
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6 – Stuck at the bottom of a raging river, Kwinn, Dr. Venom, and Snake Eyes face certain death with no rescue in sight. Dr. Venom reacts to this somber news by TOTALLY TRYING TO WHACK SNAKE EYES WITH A $%#$ CHAIR!
As if that wasn’t enough, when Kwinn is in the middle of trying to help rescue the three of them, he cold-cocks him with a freaking wrench. What the heck is it with Dr. Venom and wrenches? I swear, his file card should say “Primary Military Specialty: Whacking dudes with wrenches”.
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5 – Dr. Venom plans his most devious plan yet…he launches a Cobra assault on the United States mint, planning to coat the money with a virus, thus contaminating the entire American cash reserves. Guy shoulda just called Goldman Sachs. That’s their specialty.
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4 – In the midst of producing a vicious poison worth of his namesake, Dr. Venom injects Cobra agent Scarface and arranges for him to be captured by the Joes in a ploy to drop the sickness directly into the heart of G.I. Joe headquarters. Yeah, Venom is that much of an a-hole.
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3 – Proving just how much of a heartless bastard Dr. Venom is, he captures a young man found in Cobra’s cover city of Springfield. The young man, we learn later, is Billy, Cobra Commander’s own son! That takes some balls right there.
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2 – Courtesy of Dr. Venom we get our first peek into the life and history of G.I. Joe mystery man Snake Eyes. Captured by Cobra, Dr. Venom straps the Joe ninja into his dastardly Brainwave Scanner and peeks into his brain, seeing traces of his past that were previously shrouded in darkness. We see the helicopter crash that took his face…we see a newspaper clipping of his family dying in a car crash. And we see Snake Eyes’ teeth. For the very. first. time.
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1 – After a long conflict with the Eskimo Mercenary Kwinn, in the midst of a raging battle between G.I. Joe and Cobra, Dr. Venom is getting choked out by Kwinn, who then thinks better of it and lets him live. Dr. Venom repays this kindness by blasting him three times in the back with his pistol. The wounds certainly look fatal, but not fatal enough, as Kwinn turns on his attacker and collapses, dropping a live grenade at his feet. In one single explosion, the Kwinn/Dr. Venom rivalry is forever embedded in G.I. Joe history.
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Nice, sir. The shot I talked about in the last thread is there (SE, Kwinn and Venom in the sunken bunker), and seeing it this morning brought a huge smile to my face. Also, Venom and Kwinn’s end is still chilling…SE is enraged and heartbroken, Kwinn goes out with total dignity, and Venom gets exactly the poetic end he deserves. Definitely some of Larry Hama’s best writing in the entire series, back when story was tantamount to introducing new toys (which he always handled pretty well, too)
Looks like I’m gonna be re-reading the GI Joe Classics volumes this weekend…
Excellent write up!
Hopefully around this time next year you’re doing the same for Kwinn!
I loved justin’s unique humorous approach here; top notch! it did the top 10 more enjoyable. But man, i’m still in shambles ’cause i really expected to see a comic two-pack of Dr, Venom & Kwinn in the ol’ 25th anniversary days, that would have been a blast for sure! We all collectors NEED a Dr. venom figure, he’s the bastard we love to hate! And who would’ve thought a machine-gun toting eskimo would be such a cool character? we need those toys!