G.I. Joe Vs. COBRA

Series In Review

And so, it begins...

The time when things would irrevocably change for the G.I. Joe world...the time when divisions would be made, alliances would be broken, and insults would be tossed...it was...the "New Sculpt Age".

Yeah, I know... a little melodramatic, but I found it fitting to try and add some levity to something that a lot of people take way, WAY too seriously. These are just little plastic army men, after all.

I still remember when the first vague pictures of unpainted prototypes were shown at the San Diego Comic Convention in 2002. Elusive new sculpt G.I. Joe figures finally revealed! Look at the intricate detailing! Look at the dramatic positioning! Look at the... T CROTCHES?!?! And a massive group "WTF" erupted all over the online community. From that point on, there would forever be two distinct camps in G.I. Joe land... the "New Sculpt lovers" and the "Classic Sculpt lovers". Thankfully, over time, the divisions have at least somewhat lessened to the point where people can actually have civil discussions about the differences between the two, advantages, disadvantages, etc... without busting out in arguments and hatred. But still, you can't help but remember the days back then when instead of paint wipes and questionable file names, it became an all out war between the RAH purists and the dirty new sculpt loverz everywhere.

It is blatantly obvious, just by looking at my reviews of this period, which camp I was in, and I would be lying if I said I didn't regret that a little bit.

Perhaps it was the euphoria of new sculpt Joes after 6 years of repaints...perhaps it was just the thought of G.I. Joe being popular again, or perhaps I was just blinded by a love for the brand, but my reviews of that early period of new sculpt Joes...yeah, they were pretty much bogus. I'm not saying I was lying or trying to "fluff" the figures up with some sort of dastardly goal in mind...no way, not in the least. I honestly, in those days, thought this stuff was pretty cool, and that even without an o-ring, a new Joe figure was a new Joe figure with at least some redeeming qualities. I'd like to think I aged well since then and grew some more discriminating tastes...still, to this day I get accused of being overly positive and an enthusiastic Hasbro homer, even though my reviews over the past two years have become increasingly discriminating. It was those early reviews that cemented that opinion in a lot of peoples' minds, and yeah, I kinda feel bad about that, because I'd like people to think I have a more definitive taste, and won't just swallow whatever Hasbro shoves at me in their little pill bottles. Of course my love for Sigma 6 has probably renewed that feeling in alot of peoples' minds, but I guess there isn't much I can do about that. All I can do is write what I feel, and if folks can't accept it as the truth, well, nothing I type here is going to change their minds.

Regardless, it might have taken a few years, but I now fully realize what lumps of crap those first o-ring-less Joes were. Yay me!

Fortunately, as time wore on, Hasbro made some great leaps and even by merely the fourth wave, we had some exceptionally solid new sculpt figures...but for every step forward Hasbro took, they seemed to stumble back a little bit, and things just never really caught steam. The future looked extremely bright by Wave 4, but in some bizarre proportion-related twists, it kind of fell apart again. But that's for future "series in review"...let's talk about the first year or so here.

Wave by Wave Breakdown

Hate. Rage. Blinding anger and mockery. Not only did the figures themselves get this animosity, but so did the people who loved them. Removing the o-ring from the G.I. Joe construction was almost akin to removing the transformation from Transformers...I mean, it kind of defined what these figures were and really separated them from the pack. Without them, they were just your average dollar store knock offs with no real identity and no purpose. The figures stood there unrealistically like every other toyline did back in the day while G.I. Joe posed, ran, and flipped circles around them, because of how the toys moved. Not only were the o-rings dropped, but a number of the figures were posed in some unnaturally contorted positions, especially Snake Eyes. The actual detailing of the figures themselves was a pretty welcome improvement, especially with figures like COBRA Commander, Storm Shadow, and Gung Ho, but as mentioned before any possible positives were completely obliterated by the lack of essential articulation, pretty crappy re-used accessories, and a general silliness in overall design (like Destro's horrific mask). Overall, it's a turning point in G.I. Joe history, which is unfortunate because the wave that represents it represents all that is wrong with the transition between classic sculpt and new.

Then...well...we got more classic sculpts. More rumors abound (was Hasbro buying time to retool o-ring figures?!? Were they going back to classic repaints??) and we ended up with a pretty neat run of classic sculpt figures, really. Alley-Viper got his first treament post '98, and same with the Viper...at this point they were pretty cool, sought after pieces...but of course by the time GvC ran it's course there would be a veritable army of these guys to choose from. We had a bright orange Headman, a pretty decent rendition of Tomahawk/Hawk, and Big Ben and Mirage, who would soon become the most infamous anti-army builders in history. But the classic sculpt bandwagon wouldn't continue for long...

Never in the history of G.I. Joe had a single wave marked such a huge improvement in the look, design, and execution of the figures we were getting on store shelves. Getting excellent new sculpt figures like Sgt. Stalker, Firefly, and Agent Scarlett completely eclipsed some of the aweful taste in our collective mouths from the previous wave and once again, gave us some hope for the future of the line. Rumors were abound that our "O-Ring MIA" petition and Hasbro mailers assisted in the final decision to re-incorporate the o-ring back into figure production. Regardless of the actual reasons, the fact remains that the fandom as a whole let their voices be heard and Hasbro recanted, retooling much of Wave 2 so that it would include the o-ring. And in spite of my positive remarks about the non o-ring figures, I was right there with the fandom, asking for our classic articulation back. Even though I had an enjoyment of the unarticulated figures back then, I still knew what a critical componant the elusive o-ring was, and I supported fully the drive to get it returned to the figures, as long as it was expressed with intelligence and rationally. So, for the time being, anyway, collectors rejoiced (many of them, anyway...) and G.I. Joe seemed to be back on the right track. There were still some weird choices, like the integration of t-crotch and classic sculpt figures into this one assortment, but overall, things looked all right.

And then there was Wave 3. A perfect example of some of the inherent problems with the new sculpt line from the beginning...you had three waves of figures, and they almost looked to be waves from three completely different toylines! Construction and sculpting techniques were completely different from wave to wave, and thus, brought no sense of continuity or flow to the new sculpt line to this point. There were some great figures, but then you had moonboot Flint and ape-arms Mindbender, and none of them seemed to work with each other. You'd put Flint and Stalker next to one another and they looked like two completely different toylines. I cannot really say why this is, other than the theory that Hasbro used different sculpting teams wave to wave, but it really knocked the new sculpts back a few notches (regardless of what my positive reviews might have said at the time). Figures like Snow Serpent were pretty widely loved, mostly for the design elements, while overly scrawny Baroness and just plain gimpy looking Blowtorch got some pretty negative hits. Flint was a monstrosity, and Beachhead's bowlegs and overly skinny, elongated body shape really sent mixed messages. It was a shame because the designs themselves were quite good and quite reminiscent of the classic look to a lot of the figures, but the execution was questionable at best and you were left with some strange looking toys.

Then came wave 4, and things got suddenly... great? In an interesting twist, Hasbro really seemed to turn up the QC on this fourth wave of figures and got some great sculpting, great figure design, and some pretty cool new accessories to go along with it. What is still my favorite rendition of Duke came in this wave as did an excellent new Ripper and Dart, as well as o-ring retools of Neo-Viper and CLAWS. Colors were pretty nice and accurate, proportions on the non-retools were pretty darn good, and there were even some nice articulation additions, especially on the Duke figure. Wave 4 was a huge step up from Wave 3 and once again gave the new sculpt homers some hope that things might just turn around for the better. Early prototype pictures of Wave 5 seemed to carry that hope along, too, and things seemed pretty bright as the first series of straight up G.I. Joe Vs. COBRA figures came to an end of its shelf life.

This was a pretty widely considered shortfall of the new Hasbro regime and even the new sculpt lovers had to agree that vehicle designs were just pretty much butchered during this timeframe. We either got straight repaints which barely fit the new sculpt figures, or we got some pretty bizarre looking newly sculpted vehicles, some looking almost like preschool Tonka toys. It was a strange time for G.I. Joe from a vehicle perspective, and like the figures themselves there didn't seem to be a theme or design prevelant among all of the toys...it was almost an every wave for itself philosophy and no real cohesion of style. This was and still is one of the biggest issue many people have with the new sculpt line (myself included)...the fact that none of them really mesh or blend together, and combined with the classic sculpt stuff you get almost completely different toylines altogether. Suspension of disbelief helps, especially in the dio-story arena, but ultimately it would be nice if everyone at least somewhat resembled one another, figures and vehicles both included. From the repainted Dominator and Brawler to oddities like the Assault Quad and HISS IV, the new sculpt vehicles were strangeness personified. The Night Attack Chopper really hit on all cylinders and impressed pretty much everyone, but besides that, most of this first run of vehicles were forgettible and unimpressive.

A pretty illustrious start to the new sculpt "wars", and it started with a pretty dull "thud". Things would definitely pick up from here and become much more successful as time went on, but the mistakes and blunders of the first few waves could not be overlooked by many fans of the line, and Hasbro would seal their own fate as a company that just didn't understand the fanbase all that much. This is stuff that has been improved 120% (in my opinion) these days, but there is definitely a grudge there, and once you sit down and really look at the first wave of GvC stuff, you can see why.

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