G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Rip Attack Jetstorm Cycle w/ Snake Eyes

Yay, Snake Eyes! Yay, a blocky, undetailed hunk of plastic that kinda resembles a motorcycle!

In all honesty, I knew what I was getting into before I plunked down the cash, so I have a hard time being indignant about what I found when I opened the package. We're now nearly two years removed from the Rise of Cobra (seems hard to believe) and as such we've had some time to reflect on just how much sheer product was released in 2009. Not all of it was good, that's for sure, but a lot of it at least had some redeeming value. Believe it or not, yes that includes the Jet Storm Cycle w/ Snake Eyes.

The Rip Attack vehicles are obviously designed for the kid...or the kid at heart. The bike locks down into the sideways handle, and the ripcord feeds through the slot in the handle. You yank the cord, which spins the tires, and then pull the trigger, releasing the vehicle from it's plastic handle, and the damn thing goes flying across the floor at nearly 80 miles per hour. Well, it seems that way, anyway. And my five-year old certainly screeches as if it's going that fast.

So yes, in the 10 minutes that my kids absolutely lost their crap over this thing, the purchase was immediately worthwhile. If I'd paid original retail of $15.00, it would have been pushing it, but at the five dollar clearance prices...well, my kids' happiness is worth five bucks, I guess.

The motorcycle itself is bland, unremarkable, and undetailed, but the figure sits on it okay, and it retains its balance as it careens across the floor, out of control. As a straight up Joe vehicle, it's nearly laughable, but as a hybrid vehicle/dog torture device, it might be more worth the money than you think.

Snake Eyes

Now if someone would have told me that I ever would have considered a Snake Eyes figure as a "redeeming quality" of something, I would have never believe it. Yet, here we are.

Snake Eyes had a very... unique look in the Rise of Cobra film. The skin-tight spandex top with the commando pants bottoms looked downright strange in some places, yet totally bad ass in others. In plastic form, it looked mostly strange. The figure that comes with the Jet Storm mostly takes his Rise of Cobra aesthetic, but uses the Paris Pursuit Snake Eyes parts, which is a much better combination. The figure still looks a lot like the film version, but isn't nearly as scrawny and non-intimidating. The end result is a decent, if uninteresting version of the Rise of Cobra commando-ninja.

Yeah, somehow that's a "redeeming quality". Go figure.

No, this isn't and shouldn't be an essential part of anyone's collection. But it entertains the kids, it scares the dogs, and the Snake Eyes that comes with it doesn't absolutely suck. What better recommendation can you ask for?